What to do?!

S/he left me!


My partner left me!

I want him/her back! What to do?

This situation is very depressing. Suddenly, there is emptiness in life, a big hole. Many thoughts are coming, we cannot focus on everyday life, we cannot sleep properly….Time is a good healer. But the right activity is even better healer. We shall use the knowledge how our mind works. Our mind is a big story teller. (Unfortunately, it likes dramas). It creates its own world and this world is not as real as it seems to be. If we don't want to spend next months in depression or anger, we have to occupy our mind with something more productive. Here are some suggestions what to do:

    Find some time for yourself! There are many ways how to enjoy single life. Read good and positive books, watch movies you really like, eat something what you like, make a new haircut or buy a new dress... lying all day in a bed and overeating don't belong to these activities. It has to be something that supports you, not something that makes you weaker! Simply, do something, what increases your self-confidence, opens the door to new contacts and friendships and give you the reason to enjoy your life again.

    Start to do something new. Find something what you like to do, what you enjoy (for example ice-skating), or you always wanted to do (playing some musical instrument), or you admire but didn't have courage to try it (for example diving). Or this is good time to start new course or education, to increase your knowledge. It is not important what you will do, but it is important to start!

    Change something in your life. Think about some change, which you always wanted to do, but you didn't, because your partner didn't like it... for example you like swimming, but your ex didn't like it, so you stopped this activity too...or sell furniture you have bought together and buy something new... Change your habits, your way of life or personal style, feel the energy of change and enjoy it.

    Analyse your relationship. Think about all the difficulties and happy times you’ve had and ask yourself if you really need to experience it all over again. Try to see both positive and negative aspects- this should be done only in the moments when you feel good, calm and strong. Otherwise it won't have the needed effect! Analyse positive but also negative things on your previous relationship. Think about your responsibility- what you did wrong and learn from it. People make mistakes and they can rise, if they are able to learn from it and correct themselves. If you don't do such analysis, there is a risk, that you will repeat the same mistakes later, in a new relationship! Inspire yourself with this tab.

If you are needy, insecure and desperately want someone, people will feel that and avoid you, or, you will attract someone destructive. If you are calm, confident and happy, people will feel that too and want to be with you.

Exercise of Understanding

Examine things from the perspective of your Ex- partner!    

If you still love your ex-partner, you maybe keep asking again and again "Why did s/he behave like this?" "How could s/he do this?" or "Why this happened to me?". Make the situation clearer by understanding motives of your Ex-partner. You know him/her well, but you are emotionally too "in" to see the things clearly. Examine your and his/her point of view and see from a distance, what you didn't see before. For following exercise, you will need 3 sheets of paper and a pen.

  1. Find a quiet place. Sit down and concentrate on the topic, which was arising between you and your Ex-partner most frequently. Write on the first sheet of paper your point of view. What would you say to your partner? What arguments and point of view are those you consider to be "right"?
  2. Stand up, shake off yourself and move to another place in the room, which represents the place of your Ex- partner. Sit down. You represent now your partner's attitude. Try to be in his/her skin, try to see the world with partner's eyes. Write on the second sheet of paper point of view of your Ex. What would s/he say? What arguments and point of view are those s/he consider to be "right"?
  3. Stand up, shake off your partner's attitude and move to a third place in the room, which represents the place of uninvolved, third party. Sit down. You represent now someone wise, who looks at your situation and sees it from distance. On the third sheet of paper write point of view of the "wise man". What would he say? What arguments and point of view are those he consider to be "right"?
  4. Stand up, shake off the wise man and move to a fourth place in the room, which represents the place of change. Carefully examine the counsels of the wise man. Which of them sound good? Which could you accept and agree with? Close your eyes and delete old patterns and attitudes, which were harmful and brought you just pain. Substitute them by new ideas, which sounds better and which contain more wisdom and clearness.
  5. Move back to the position one, from which you have started. Look carefully, what impact on your relationship with Ex have new ideas and new approach?

Attraction paradox

There is one paradox, which works in all relationships. More is somebody satisfied and happy being alone, more is s/he attractive in the eyes of his/her partner! And this independence has nothing to do with lack of interest! We also don't try to say, that in order to be more attractive, you should ignore your partner!
We just say, that people, who are able to entertain themselves and give meaning to their time and activities, possess higher personal power and attraction than people, who cannot stay alone with themselves. It is also important, where you are with your self-perception and self-value. More you respect yourself and more you are satisfied with who you are, more power of attraction you have. In order to increase this attraction, we have to forget the thinking patterns and values of present society, which says: „The real happiness can be found only in the arms of your soul mate, a partner, who was created to be with me“.
If you believe this statement, you give your happiness to the hands of someone else. If this partner leaves you, you suffer, because you think, this ex-partner cannot be replaced with anyone else. And, what is the worst, you maybe believe, that without the certain partner you won't be happy anymore!!!
It was, you, who gave yourself this special condition, that happiness in your life can be achieved only with the certain partner. And, because this condition cannot be fulfilled, you feel desperate. So, you alone cut yourself from the flow of life! The common sense tells us something different. How can you be so sure, that nobody else will come?! This situation maybe happened, because there is someone better will come! And to support this thought, you have to be active and prepare yourself for this better partner. The suffering can bring also positive results. When we suffer, we transform, we become wiser, our understanding deepens and we suddenly know better, what we want from life, what wasn't good and what has to be changed… So, how to increase the power of attraction? Here are some things, which can do that: meditation, know exactly, what do you want and what is direction of your life, reading motivational and spiritual books, being successful in something.
partner left me

My partner left me.

I want him/her back. What should I do?

You may miss your ex a lot. This is really awkward situation. Your ex left you because he/she didn't see any way out of your current situation. You probably didn't respond to his/her messages that something is wrong. So, he/she is now convinced that your relationship has no chance and he/she really doesn't want to be with you. There is no guarantee that you will convince him/her to come back.

But you can try it, only if you are 100% sure that your ex is the right partner you want to live with! Have you asked yourself why you genuinely want to get back with an ex? Missing an ex is never a good reason to get back with an ex.

So, before you try to get your ex back, ask yourself this questions: “Why do I want him/her back?” To fill the emptiness? To rebuilt my self-confidence? Or to be with him/her, because I love him/her?.... And why do I love him/her?...What do I love inside of him/her?...To win your ex back is worthy to do only if you have some deeper reason, deeper motive.

The best reason why to fight for getting our ex back is, that you know his value. Was he supportive to your ambitions and values? Did he try to understand your point of view? Was he attentive and kind? If your answer is yes, don’t hesitate and try to win him/her back! Try something from the following suggestions:

    First, try to win back his/her friendship. Analyze your situation and find out, what was wrong on your side. Apologise for everything in a simple polite way, without blaming yourself too much. Agree with his/her point of view. And stop there.

    Accept his/her decision.Tell him/her that you accept his/her decision and if he/she will need something, you are prepared to help.

    Don't advocate your point of view, don't explain. It will make the situation even worse!

    Don't ask or beg him/her to come back, don't promise that you will change, that everything will change. He/she won't believe you yet! First of all, change yourself and then let the partner see and experience this change!

    Don't erase contacts of your ex in anger. Maybe you won't have another chance to gain them back.

    Don't offend your ex-partner with sms, calls or messages on social networks. Allow him/her to think about everything and to be alone.

    Start to do something positive for yourself (some course which increases your skills or something you really like to do) or for others (for animals, ecology, poor people). Speak about that on social networks. This gives a message that your life is better, you want to transform, evolve. But you have to do it not only for gaining your partner back. You have to do it from your heart!

    Make something to change in a positive way. Do your best to change in a positive way: start with meditation, it will calm you down and open new dimension of peace and joy in your life. Read motivational, positive books and spiritual books. They will help you gain information and motivation for your further development and they will make you feel better. Find some information about relationships, communication, solving problems, so that you can improve your skills and increase the possibility of achieving your goal.

If you did everything to get your partner back and despite all of your efforts, s/he didn't come back, you could try to ask for a professional help. Love Magic can create a second chance for you and your ex. But one spell is not enough! You need also to remove all unhealthy habits and behaviours, which caused that the relationship ended. Only then, magic can be successful and lasting.

To start with ex again

The second chance

There is one positive thing about any break up: when you experience this, both of you have the chance to understand, how much you mean to each other. Because sometimes we need to lose something in order to understand its real value. By starting again with your ex and falling in love again, you have the chance to do it better, to go deeper. Because you can learn from your past errors and make sure the same mistakes never happen again.
Sometimes is the break up just a chain of misunderstandings combined with wrong communication. And this situation can be solved! The second start needs from both exes (if they really love each other) to understand where in the past they went wrong. If they do this, it can actually help them to build a stronger and happier basis to their new relationship.

Are you having problems with you love life? Is there many fights and harmony is fading away? Or did your relationship already ended and you feel empty and desperate? Often, these problems can be fixed. But you need professional help. We can help to repair your relationship! We can analyze, if there is a way to harmony or if it is better to let it go and find better partner. Call us. We are looking forward to helping you.

© Daghan-Malenky GmbH / Author Slavka Photos istockphoto.com / Anna Bryukhanova / Pavol Malenky
Love Magic
We don’t love, because we don’t understand. We don’t understand, because we don’t love.
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Marion Daghan-Malenky
White Magic
Daghan-Malenky GmbH
Espenauer Strasse 10
34246 Vellmar

Phone: +421 948 116 834
Phone: +49 (0) 160 9581 3493